I was recently tagged by Julie Lorenzen at http://www.autism-blog.net/ and asked to post my favorites...so with all the recent stressful school related events it sounds nice to list some of my favorites. Thanks Julie!
Five things found in my bag:
1. Chap stick.....always a couple of different brands..never leave home with out it!
2. Pictures of my kids.
3. Band aids....my kids are accident prone to say the least.
4. Motrin...you just never know
5.nail trimmers
Five Favorite things in my bedroom
1. The collage frame of all of my babies as sweet little babies
2. The hand prints my kids all made for mothers day......priceless
3. A picture of my parents on their wedding day
4. my bed, it is the only place in my house where I can relax and have some quiet time
5. my dresser, It is really big and has a great big beautiful mirror behind it. Very pretty
Five things I am currently into
1. Being an advocate for my son
2. Trying to share our story and journey with autism in hopes of helping someone else
3. Trying to enjoy the Michigan weather and get my yard in shape.....the Michigan weather part is tricky though.
4. Planting my garden. I can't wait for all the fresh veggies!
5. I love to watch Lost and my name is Earl. Definitely my fav's right now
Five things I have always wanted to do:
1. Go on a second honeymoon.
2. Spend a weekend with my sister. She is my best friend and I miss her a lot sometimes.
3. See real mountains in person. I have seen them on t.v. of course but would love to see them up close and personal.
4. learn how to water ski.....kind of dangerous for my clumsy self....but would like to try!
5. take a nap, I have needed one of these since my kids were born!! tee-hee running out of ideas!
People I would like to tag:
Well I am very new to the blogging thing and have a very small readership okay well maybe two people so...............
my dear sister destini....tag....your it!
http://www.glimpseofdestini.blogspot.com/
Monday, May 26, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Know your rights......
When I started this blog I was unsure what it was going to be about. I wanted to share my story with other families that may be going through what we are with our son and possibly another family could use some of our experiences to save them some hassle or heartache that we have experienced. The last couple of weeks have been really tough at school. We have been trying to develop our IEP for our son that sets his goals and education plan for the following year...his 8th grade year at our public middle school. Unfortunately for us, we were not informed of all the changes taking place next year concerning his classroom. My son has been in a categorical room since 1st grade and it has definitely been a great opportunity for him. Without any idea what so ever what was we were in store for next year I went to the IEP and was just dumbfounded. Not one phone call or letter to explain that they have eliminated his program and expected us to just follow along and not give it a second thought. I know some children do very well in general education classrooms and some do not. My son does not. He does very well in his categorical room and is working at his own level and pace with support of the teacher, para pro and his part time aide. Every year he is showing progress and is improving...definitely capable of learning still. I was very frustrated to say the least that with no extra support he would be expected to participate in so much more. My son was asked to come to the meeting as he is 13 now and they encourage him to participate in his IEP and goals. After hearing 10+ people quickly go through all of the testing and information and picking up on significant changes to be taking place, he lost it. He went into full blown fit throwing and hitting himself in the head and we had to take him outside to calm down. These are behaviors we have not seen in quite some time. PLEASE if you get anything at all out of my blog.....please know your rights as a parent of a special education student. You have the right to be informed prior to a change in placement. You have a right to leave a meeting for an IEP and not sign it. If you do sign it you have a right to call another one at ANY TIME, and revoke the previous one. Please be the one that stands up for your child because it is your obligation. I am including a sample of the letter I sent to the entire staff at his meeting, the superintendent of our school and the ISD superintendent of special education. Be heard and be the advocate. I have removed names and information that needs to be kept private for obvious reasons. Please remember if you need to contact your school and you write a letter, be respectful, state your concerns, be clear and use examples and do not attack. Faculty will not want to talk with someone they know is going to argue with them. I hand delivered most of the letters and emailed the ones that I could not hand deliver. Then I went home and waited for the phone to ring. It rang...off the hook. We are now working on another IEP that is much more realistic, and I believe that sometimes you have to shake the trees to be the voice that your child needs.
May XX, 2008
To all of the many people that work with my son, XXX XXX,
First of all I would like to thank those of you that attended XXX’s IEP meeting on Friday. I appreciate all the time you took with testing and observations and preparing for the meeting. I understand that it is a very time taking task that I do not take for granted.
Unfortunately, there are some things that I feel need to be addressed. I feel that I was ill prepared for this meeting as I was not informed until sitting in it, that so many things have been changed. That is the first I had heard of the categorical room not being in place for the students, like mine that truly benefit.I feel I should have been notified prior to this meeting as everyone there had the information but myself. I heard, as did others, the concerns that the general education teachers expressed regarding their students and my student. After hearing Mrs. XXX’s concerns on more or less short changing her students to make accommodations for XXX and the fact that she did not feel she could justly give him the necessary equipment to be included in the class that he will be in, and all the other major changes for his school year, I felt as if I did not have much choice as whether or not to sign his IEP. I don’t understand how such a critical component could be removed from a school that teaches special education students. History has shown us that XXX does not succeed well in a general education class room and frequently had to be removed from the class due to anxiety and disturbing behaviors, and that the curriculum was just too much for him even with accommodations. I was told by a meeting member more or less to not worry , after this upcoming year he then will be in the high school where he can again attend a categorical classroom and the teacher of that classroom is remarkable. So, if we all are in agreement, which we have been since he was in first grade, that the categorical room is the most beneficial place forXXX, then why is he being denied that opportunity now? I feel that his education has been compromised already attending school at XX Middle School when we had to remove him from his social studies class because he could not handle the classroom full of children and spent so much time with the social worker to excuse him from class. I greatly appreciate the time the social worker has taken with XXX , but the problem is he did not have a structured social studies program that met his needs. And again last week, when there was an incident at school involving some other general education students that were spitting in his face and trying to talk him in to being suspended. Did the other students suffer any consequence? I don’t know, because I was never contacted or followed up with from the assistant principal regarding the matter after my husband and I left the office. We were told ,however, that she would look into it and was not surprised with the boys XXX identified to her. But in the end, he was removed from a class that every child should be able to attend, without being harassed and humiliated. He has lost his right to attend gym class and participate with other students and is retaking an art class he has already taken. So what next year, when he is struggling next year shall we just pull him from all of these classes and do what with him? Send him to the social worker?
The goals set forth in his IEP are completely out of line and I am quite disturbed that they were even presented to me at all. Mrs.XXX XXX showed us her testing of XXX and where he fell into the categories of intelligence and had it all broke down, so we now have a very clear and up to date idea of where he is in his comprehension and processing levels. We know his reading level now and she made a point of saying that him doing his touch point math impressed her. That is so impressive to me as well, He is finally getting some of what we have been working on and is not incapable of learning something new, so we set goals for him to work on algebraic equations and geometry and fractions. Please let us not forget decimals. That is ridiculous knowing he is working at a second grade level and will no matter how much support he receives and no matter what accommodations are made, he will not meet his goals next year and I believe it is ridiculous to think he will, and is going to place undue stress and anxiety and frustrations on him.
He is a special education student, he is just a boy, and he is entitled to the best education we can provide him. I feel that I was inadequately prepared and felt like I had no choice to consider other options at that point and all of the new information presented to me and was incredibly overwhelmed. I am requesting another IEP and would like this one revoked. I would like also to be steered in the right direction to someone that will act as a parent advocate that will help my family to better understand what Josh’s rights are as a student of special education., and will also participate in the next meeting with myself and my son acting on our behalf that is not a member of the XXX Middle School staff.
I would like everyone involved to understand that as XXX’s mother, I understand completely that it is up to myself and my husband to ensure that he is treated fairly and help to work hand in hand with the school to create the most beneficial program for him and I am committed to doing that. I look forward to meeting with you all again in hopes of creating a more realistic program and setting goals that I feel he can, with a little work, achieve. I know that we all want to see him succeed.
Respectfully,
Sara XXXX
XXXXX Road
XXXXX, Michigan XXXX
XXX-XXX-XXX
XXXXX@yahoo.com
May XX, 2008
To all of the many people that work with my son, XXX XXX,
First of all I would like to thank those of you that attended XXX’s IEP meeting on Friday. I appreciate all the time you took with testing and observations and preparing for the meeting. I understand that it is a very time taking task that I do not take for granted.
Unfortunately, there are some things that I feel need to be addressed. I feel that I was ill prepared for this meeting as I was not informed until sitting in it, that so many things have been changed. That is the first I had heard of the categorical room not being in place for the students, like mine that truly benefit.I feel I should have been notified prior to this meeting as everyone there had the information but myself. I heard, as did others, the concerns that the general education teachers expressed regarding their students and my student. After hearing Mrs. XXX’s concerns on more or less short changing her students to make accommodations for XXX and the fact that she did not feel she could justly give him the necessary equipment to be included in the class that he will be in, and all the other major changes for his school year, I felt as if I did not have much choice as whether or not to sign his IEP. I don’t understand how such a critical component could be removed from a school that teaches special education students. History has shown us that XXX does not succeed well in a general education class room and frequently had to be removed from the class due to anxiety and disturbing behaviors, and that the curriculum was just too much for him even with accommodations. I was told by a meeting member more or less to not worry , after this upcoming year he then will be in the high school where he can again attend a categorical classroom and the teacher of that classroom is remarkable. So, if we all are in agreement, which we have been since he was in first grade, that the categorical room is the most beneficial place forXXX, then why is he being denied that opportunity now? I feel that his education has been compromised already attending school at XX Middle School when we had to remove him from his social studies class because he could not handle the classroom full of children and spent so much time with the social worker to excuse him from class. I greatly appreciate the time the social worker has taken with XXX , but the problem is he did not have a structured social studies program that met his needs. And again last week, when there was an incident at school involving some other general education students that were spitting in his face and trying to talk him in to being suspended. Did the other students suffer any consequence? I don’t know, because I was never contacted or followed up with from the assistant principal regarding the matter after my husband and I left the office. We were told ,however, that she would look into it and was not surprised with the boys XXX identified to her. But in the end, he was removed from a class that every child should be able to attend, without being harassed and humiliated. He has lost his right to attend gym class and participate with other students and is retaking an art class he has already taken. So what next year, when he is struggling next year shall we just pull him from all of these classes and do what with him? Send him to the social worker?
The goals set forth in his IEP are completely out of line and I am quite disturbed that they were even presented to me at all. Mrs.XXX XXX showed us her testing of XXX and where he fell into the categories of intelligence and had it all broke down, so we now have a very clear and up to date idea of where he is in his comprehension and processing levels. We know his reading level now and she made a point of saying that him doing his touch point math impressed her. That is so impressive to me as well, He is finally getting some of what we have been working on and is not incapable of learning something new, so we set goals for him to work on algebraic equations and geometry and fractions. Please let us not forget decimals. That is ridiculous knowing he is working at a second grade level and will no matter how much support he receives and no matter what accommodations are made, he will not meet his goals next year and I believe it is ridiculous to think he will, and is going to place undue stress and anxiety and frustrations on him.
He is a special education student, he is just a boy, and he is entitled to the best education we can provide him. I feel that I was inadequately prepared and felt like I had no choice to consider other options at that point and all of the new information presented to me and was incredibly overwhelmed. I am requesting another IEP and would like this one revoked. I would like also to be steered in the right direction to someone that will act as a parent advocate that will help my family to better understand what Josh’s rights are as a student of special education., and will also participate in the next meeting with myself and my son acting on our behalf that is not a member of the XXX Middle School staff.
I would like everyone involved to understand that as XXX’s mother, I understand completely that it is up to myself and my husband to ensure that he is treated fairly and help to work hand in hand with the school to create the most beneficial program for him and I am committed to doing that. I look forward to meeting with you all again in hopes of creating a more realistic program and setting goals that I feel he can, with a little work, achieve. I know that we all want to see him succeed.
Respectfully,
Sara XXXX
XXXXX Road
XXXXX, Michigan XXXX
XXX-XXX-XXX
XXXXX@yahoo.com
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Frustrations
Well, I feel I need to warn anyone reading this in advance. I am really tired today and full of frustrations and just need a place to vent. It has been a long couple of days. My little bitty has been sick since late Thursday night and was still sick again through the night last night(or should I say early this morning). Bean has now caught the bug and has been joining her sister in the puke fest for 2 nights now. Lovely. So before I go off to steam clean my carpets again........I had a meeting first thing this morning. I had yet another meeting called by myself trying to protect my son from harassment at school. You see this is very frustrating. My son has a hard time remembering names of kids but can tell you exactly what they were wearing down to the color of their shoelaces. He, being a 7Th grader, has been placed in a class for gym first hour with 8Th grade boys. So, he does not know many names at all only a couple specific kids that do not think of him as some kind of weirdo. So yesterday he called me from school complaining to me he wanted me to come and get him because his tooth hurt. I talked to him on the phone and sensed that he just wanted to come home. He is having a problem with his tooth, the last of his baby teeth that has abscessed. I knew he has been on antibiotic and the tooth had not been bothering him since early last week when I took him to the dentist and he was given medication so I just figured he wanted to come home and play light sabres. He is a star wars junkie. Well I continued to stay home and clean my carpets and uncountable loads of towels from my ever so projectile pukers and when he came home he was in tears.....again. Some kids in this gym class were again picking on him and trying to convince him to punch other kids and telling him he would get suspended and get to stay home with his mommy. Nice. Once child in particular told him he was stupid so Boo told him he was a big dummy( that is a swear word for Boo) and the kids then spit in Boos face. I was so furious. We have dealt with this kind of stuff ALL year and quite frankly I am fed up. I have made countless trips to the school and nothing. They can't do anything with his word against theirs and non of the kids in the group that are doing it will step up and nark on the other so we just keep going round and round and round with them. Everything from trying to throw him in front of a bus to spitting in his face. I know that he is and will be an easy target for mean kids to vent. I try SO hard to give him the tools to protect himself in the situation. I beg and plead with the school to protect him and I get absolutely nowhere. So today, my husband went to work late and made an appearance in the office demanding to see someone that would help us. It was totally unbelievable. She was incredibly nice, brought kids in to question them, showed Boo picts of every child in his class and assured my husband she would most definitely get to the bottom of the issue and he would be safe and not harassed anymore. That kids would be held accountable, and he would be placed in another gym class with kids in his grade. So why did it have to come to this. Why when I go in there do I get blown off. Because I am a woman, because I want to protect him and I am not burly,just some crazy mom they have to deal with on a regular basis. I am not convinced the problem is over because unfortunately i cannot trust the administrators at our school anymore, and when they call me later, my husband will again be at work.
Why can't kids see what they are doing to this poor kid. Why can't they understand that Autism is beyond his control, Why can't they see that we are doing everything in our power to help him heal and if he could be totally better he most certainly would. Why do they not feel any compassion for someone that just wants to be accepted and have friends like any other child. Why would they think it is okay to just spit in someones face and threaten to end their life by throwing them down telling them they will get ran over by a bus and the world would be a better place. I wish for one day they could just be inside his body to see what a struggle it is for him every day. I know there are a lot of really good kids out there. Some that have been taught compassion and understanding. To those parents of them kids, I applaud you. I know there is a smaller number of the mean and demeaning kids than the good ones. I know I cannot put him in a bubble and protect him from every bad comment and threat, but right now my heart would sure be better if I could. We are working so hard to show him how to make friends and be a friend and it is situations like this that push us 10 steps back for every step we gain.
I am sorry for the long post, my heart is really heavy today. Please every morning, tell you children you love them, tell them you can't wait to see them at the end of their day and tell them the importance of being kind to others. A disability can happen to anyone at anytime. You never know when it is your turn or someone in your family you truly care about.
Now, with one eye open, I am back to cleaning my carpets.
Why can't kids see what they are doing to this poor kid. Why can't they understand that Autism is beyond his control, Why can't they see that we are doing everything in our power to help him heal and if he could be totally better he most certainly would. Why do they not feel any compassion for someone that just wants to be accepted and have friends like any other child. Why would they think it is okay to just spit in someones face and threaten to end their life by throwing them down telling them they will get ran over by a bus and the world would be a better place. I wish for one day they could just be inside his body to see what a struggle it is for him every day. I know there are a lot of really good kids out there. Some that have been taught compassion and understanding. To those parents of them kids, I applaud you. I know there is a smaller number of the mean and demeaning kids than the good ones. I know I cannot put him in a bubble and protect him from every bad comment and threat, but right now my heart would sure be better if I could. We are working so hard to show him how to make friends and be a friend and it is situations like this that push us 10 steps back for every step we gain.
I am sorry for the long post, my heart is really heavy today. Please every morning, tell you children you love them, tell them you can't wait to see them at the end of their day and tell them the importance of being kind to others. A disability can happen to anyone at anytime. You never know when it is your turn or someone in your family you truly care about.
Now, with one eye open, I am back to cleaning my carpets.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Happy Birthday
This post is dedicated to my husband. Today is his birthday and Sunday is our anniversary (and mother's day).
John, wishing you all the best in the next year. Another year of marriage, raising our kids and another year for you to get practiced up because............MY BUCK WAS BIGGER THAN YOURS!! Better luck next year!!!!!!
Thank you for the competition!!I hope that you know how much we appreciate you and your hard work every day to keep our family going. You work so hard to provide us a beautiful home.....and LOOK what we created!!!!!
Could you just explain to him that WE would prefer he slept on the floor??
Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!
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